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Here Frederickson introduces us to the mother who held on the desire for her forty-year-old son with autism to be normal. What we discover is that we may have told ourselves something is wrong with us, with those around us, or even that we are broken. And yet breaking down these truths, and the breakdown that follows, is often a breakthrough.

Truth does not break. When we can embrace reality, we can also see just how we may have engaged in a set of beliefs that were not only false, but the very beliefs that kept us imprisoned.

When we grieve, we surrender to the truth that washes away the false and leaves the real. Yet embracing reality is not easy.

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We can refuse to embrace the truth for many reasons. And sometimes others devalue us, gaslighting us and attempting to convince us that we are, in fact, flawed. As the barriers between us and what is dissolve, we begin to embrace ourselves not as ideal, but real.

No longer will we fail to see ourselves clearly, but we will also see others as they are. Within this larger reality lies a relating that is deeper, more honest, and more percipient. Psych Central's Recommendation:.

It goes like this: The founder believes in focus. Or it sells both to the enterprise and to the end-user! Or it has two names for different audiences. Each one is — IMHO — nonsense:.

Lies We Tell Ourselves – Robin Talley

Sure, the technology might be similar when New Relic serves developers and AppDynamics serves the enterprise, but what about customer service, sales, etc.? Consider the latercosts of your nowactions — and stick to your lane. Yeah, maybe for version 0. Facebook in the first couple of years launched a filesharing thing called Wirehog, and the maintenance distraction-attention almost killed the company.

Sorry, founders.

Jon Frederickson on Deliberate Practice and the Path Towards Psychotherapy Expertise

And as Auren Hoffman points out, the cost of optionality is that nobody else in the organization knows how to make a trade-off. How much of a price to pay is worth keeping the possibility of another thing open? Context switching: time refuses to obey the principles of arithmetic. Still, if you want to succeed at growing fast you need to standardize — and focus.

Nice, but no cigar. Until then, only include necessities — forgo the niceties.


Exception that proves the rule! Like duct tape! It can be used for lots of purposes. Still, you need to pick one customer to serve — at least in the beginning.

Author Of The Week: Chat with Cora Carmack (Rage), Plus Giveaway! ~ (US Only)

Sometimes, the focused thing you tried… fails. In that case, abandon it entirely.

Book Review: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

The trickiest, because you can only focus if you stay alive. Why do we tell ourselves these focus-lies? Because being mostly-focused is so seductive! Reason why startups are hard: Startups, in so many ways, are about letting go, about saying goodbye. Goodbye to the loyal early hire for whom you lack a fitting role.